very talented girls

The ZigZag Wanderers!

This band is awesome. You should all support them.

Below is them covering Kate Miller-Heidke's song Caught in the Crowd at St Anthony's Fete on Friday Night.

optimism

so, I'm feeling a lot better since Monday.

I think I reached a tipping point on Wednesday when I just realised that he wasn't worth it anymore.

That he was such a liar and a coward and that he doesn't deserve me anyway.

It's really nice to be able to feel positive again. To have things to smile about. 

I'm totally ignoring him at school and I'm just getting on with life. 

I'm not going to say it doesn't still hurt, because it does and part of me will always love him.

I was going through photos from Year 11 for the yearbook and kept coming across photos of him. That made me think back to some of our memories and feel a bit sad. 

I think I don't miss him anymore after what he did, but I miss having a boyfriend.

Someone to cuddle and someone to look out for you.

But I'll get there. 

It is nice laughing and smiling again. 

does it ever stop hurting?

I thought I was coping and getting better and moving on.

But I'm not.

I'm still crazily in love with him.

It still hurts every day.

I still hold that small hope that he'll change his mind and remember everything and come back. 

I don't know what to do.

I miss him every moment of every day. 

I miss myself as well. I miss feeling positive and excited about things. 

I've had my braces off for a week and not very many reasons to smile. 

I fell asleep in Legal Studies today because I'm still not sleeping properly.

Everyone said it would get easier.

Well it's been nearly two weeks and I still can't function properly.

Won't someone take the pain away and bring him back to me? 

sitting in maccas stealing their wireless

sitting with awesome people feeling more positive.

<3 you gorgeous girls Emma L and Georgia H and Michael.

feeling the singleness on discussing organising parties and hooking up with hot guys.

that's if I can ever get over Jules.

anyway, this post is quite short because Michael wants his laptop back.

au revoir!

friday night

so it's been a while, hi to all those loyal readers out there....

or basically Hi Miranda.

I have no faith that anyone else actually reads this, so if you do please comment, it will make me feel loved. 

so, this week I've been sick, which has been adding to the wonderful mood I've been in lately.

*cough sarcasm* 

so lets make a list, I like lists. 

THINGS GEORGIA HAS LEARNT THIS WEEK

* being sick sucks

* grandparents get grumpy when you won't tell 

them why you aren't going out with someone anymore

* music is hard

* apparently being dumped is not a legitimate 

reason to get out of Year 12 homework

* I miss Holly

* mice aren't good at dnms

* no braces feel funny

* retainers make you talk silly

and the fatal blow

* jules is never getting back with me. 

another week is over

so, it's sunday night again.

valentines day.

chinese new year.

st kilda festival sunday

this time last week I was happy in love, worried about homework.

now I'm heartbroken, sunburnt and still worried about homework.

I feel quite sick actually.

my head is spinning and I feel a little like I'm going to throw up.

so this will be a short post. I should sleep.

went to st kilda fest today to cheer me up.

was good with nice friends and such, but I can't get my mind off him.

I'm still hurt. and shocked at what he did.

But tomorrow I get my braces off, which is actually something to look forward to.

I refuse to avoid him at school, he's the coward here not me.

but life goes on. I have to keep going.

it's so hard and it still hurts but you keep going.

chalk it all up to experience.

I've added a tiger here, because it is now the year of the tiger for chinese new year and also to remind myself to keep my dignity and stay strong like a tiger.

what an idiot I was.

to trust him.

to believe him when he promised never to hurt me again.

for thinking he was telling the truth when he kissed me and told me he wanted me.

for letting myself be happy again when I asked him if he was sure and he said he was.

he's taken my pride and made me feel like nothing.

I can't believe he's making me go through this all over again.

I was so stupid to fall into his arms and believe that we would be ok.

I gave him a chance yesterday to end it for good, I just wanted a decent explanation so I could move on.

But no, he said we could work through this and said I could trust him.

I spent the afternoon with his arm around me, in a state of bliss; knowing that everything was going to be ok.

But I was wrong.

I was happy all this morning until I turned on my laptop, opened outlook and clicked send receive.

I saw that I had an email from him and got excited.

The subject was "Goergia, I'm Sorry"

I thought it was a romantic email, a lead up to him sleeping over tonight.

Something leading on from yesterday with him apologising for hurting me.

I was wrong again.

Bastard couldn't even spell my name right.

It was him dumping me for a second time.

Saying that he'd thought about it and changed his mind.

What happened to promises? What happened to holding me close and telling me we would be ok?

He said in the email that he was trying to do what was right for both of us.

and that I was "strong, beautiful, smart and passionate" and that I should remember that.

He told me distance was good and that I shouldn't contact him, that it would be better for us both.

Better for us both? or for your guilt?

I'm not emailing him back anyway. I know now that I can never trust him again. That I have to move on, because all my friends were right. This asshole doesn't deserve me.

But that doesn't make it hurt any less.

another song to describe how I'm feeling. Take a Bow, the Glee version.

And don’t tell me you’re sorry 'cause you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin',
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closin',
That was quite a show
Very entertainin',
But it’s over now
Go on and take a bow

And the award for the best lier goes to you
For makin' me believe that you could be faithful to me,
Let's hear your speech OUT…

But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closin',
That was quite a show
Very entertainin',
But it’s over now
Go on and take a bow.

But it's over now…

shock.

he dumped me. again.

I can't believe it.

I'm so in shock.

a tragic love story of two circles.

This made me chuckle.

positive

So, my bf and I got back together.

It's seriously the best feeling in the world.

so HAPPY.

I want to run and skip and jump and...

SMILE.

Life = Less than 3.

My Mum and some of my friends are a little apprehensive.

They are worried that he will hurt me again and I know they're just looking out for me.

And to be perfectly honest I have those doubts myself.

It's hard to just pretend it didn't happen, that he didn't say what he said.

But we talked through things properly.

and oh, did I say?

I'm so HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY.

tears

It feels like the sky is crying for me right now.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm ok. How I'm coping. Everyone gives advice and hugs and tells me that it'll get easier. I really do have wonderful friends.

The problem is, I'm not ok. I'm not coping. I can't see a time in the future where I'm happy.

I can't walk past him in the corridor without bursting into tears. I can't really do anything without crying.

People keep telling me that he's not ok either, that he's hurting. This is supposed to make me feel better? If he's hurting so much, why did he dump me? Why doesn't he fix it?

I just don't understand how I'm supposed to keep going. How life goes on. I can't concentrate on anything, I can't do anything. I keep throwing up everywhere, I spent most of this morning doing that. I started crying just before English. I had to run out of Legal Studies to throw up. My studies are basically non existent, my chances at getting into my course are looking a lot worse than they were this time last week. I wish I could ask him if he think this is better, if this is easier. Because it's certainly fucking not for me.

Songs seem to be describing my life lately. This is Without You from Rent.

Without you, the ground thaws
the rain falls
the grass grows

Without you, the seeds root
the flowers bloom
the children play

The stars gleam
the poets dream
the eagles fly
without you

The Earth turns
the sun burns
but I die, without you

Without you, the breeze warms
the girl smiles
the cloud moves

Without you, the tides change
the boys run
the oceans crash

The crowds roar
the days soar
the babies cry
without you

The moon glows
the river flows
but I die without you

The world revives
colors renew
but I know blue
only blue
lonely blue
willingly blue
Without you

Without you, the hand gropes
the ear hears
the pulse beats

Without you, the eyes gaze
the legs walk
the lungs breathe

The mind churns
the heart yearns
the tears dry without you

Life goes on
but I'm gone
'cause I die, without you

smile

I've tried all afternoon to write what I am feeling right now. I either couldn't find the words or I was crying too much to see the keys. But I realised that writing a depressing post about how I'm heartbroken and devasted; regardless of how painfully true that is, doesn't help anyone. It's not going to fix things or really make me feel any better. I'm a positive person and I need to keep going. This song helped me. Smile by Charlie Chaplin

Smile though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.
If you smile through your pain and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.

free sessions are a blast.

so I should be in legal studies right now. don't stress, I haven't fallen into my former bad wagging habits, my teacher is sick. I feel awful for being happy at his illness but whatever. No class for me. or Michael. He's sitting next to me attempting to save VCA. His dedication impresses me.

The photo above is of Chris Colfer - ie; Kurt from Glee.

I've attached it because, a) I love Glee - you should know this by now.

and b) Kurt's character pretty much is Michael. and Michael loves Kurt.

Gay. Fashionable. Singer.

That should describe him pretty well for you.

On a totally unrelated note, my hair is uncontrollably fluffy today.

That'll teach me to try and dry it naturally while at school.

What does the day hold for me?

Well next session is Music. That'll be tough, but I'll survive.

English is my only other class, I'm quite enjoying now I have a decent teacher and friends in the subject.

I have a singing class this afternoon and then a meeting which will go late but I can sleep in tomorrow.

So hopefully a better day than yesterday.

things can always be worse

5000 men responded and 3 women.

cheered me up.

GLEE: My Life Would Suck Without You (S1 1-13 MONTAGE) from Nicola de Vera on Vimeo.

You should all watch this.

Glee = Love.

having a bad day.

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to go wrong? Everyone is out to get you and everything seems to be going right for everyone else?

Small things happen, that on any other day would have been small gripes. But today they all add up and you seem to have the worst luck in every situation. You can't remember a single thing that went your way all day. You're probably overreacting but you're in such a bad mood by now that you don't care.

I had one of those days.

I slept through my alarm and walked outside to realise it was hot hot hot. about 37, I think the average was.

This was not a good start to the day.

My politics teacher decided to spring a surprise open book test on us. I had forgotten to bring my textbook to class and didn't manage to finish within the time limit.

My friends all chatted away and had a nice recess, while I frantically tried to finish my music diary to be handed in next session. My teacher then informed me that she changed her mind and didn't want them until Friday.

We had a stupid assembly on Year 12 Attendance which they will apparently be enforcing this year and then I had to rehearse for a perfomance on Wednesday that I don't want to do. and that I have to miss my favourite subject; Dance, for.

It's the first class, so I'll miss all the orientation stuff.

Last session was Legal and it was so hot in the room. He made us work on stuff I'd already done. Longest, hottest, most boring session I've had in a while.

Then afterschool, I went out with my bf to get a slurpee to cool me down. We had an argument, not that big I guess but I think we're due for a difficult conversation about year 12. We'll work through things though, we always do. That's love for you.

So really not the best day. But things could be so much worse. I just have to keep my chin up.

fear

a world in 3D

Melbourne is quite hot today. I guess it is still summer. February indeed.

I think I’m finally getting the hang of blogging. I have added some cool little bits down the side.

I just saw Avatar for the second time. It really is not a bad movie. The concept of 3D TV and movies perplexes me. It also hurts my eyes.I guess it is the way of the future. Eventually we won’t have to wear glasses at all!

But with so many movies coming out in 3D and one of my favourite TV programs (Talkin Bout Your Generation) in 3D tonight….

The world is advancing.

Ironically as I type this, Something’s Coming from West Side Story plays off my iTunes on shuffle.

‘Could it be? Yes, it could. Something's coming, something good, If I can wait!’

sunday mornings

so I finally figured out how to change the time on this thing.

bloody northern hemisphere time. currently it is 11:28am on Sunday the 7th of February 2010, here in little old melb.

I should probably make reference to the random photos I post.

I think they liven things up a bit. it makes my writing look a tad more interesting I guess. they're pretty much random things I find on my friend's facebooks or google images or other random blogs.

*copyright disclaimer thing* if any of these photos are yours and you would like me to link to you or take them down, please comment and I will do so immediately.

so anyway, I should be doing homework now. but so should we all. so never mind.

I have been stalking some other blogs on here for inspiration/amusement. (stalking? browsing. that sounds better)

I think you should all stop reading this, (that means you miranda, my one and only fan) and go read this blog: The Sassy Curmudgeon

it's hilarious. and awesome.

I less than 3 you.

I figured I should probably actually write a little bit about me. so there's more context I guess.

I'm 16. Ranga. Australian. Year 12 - Senior Year for all you people in the Northern Hemisphere.

Things I <3

(that's love by the way, <3 - it's a heart. so if someone says "I less than 3 you" it means love. go with it)

So Things I Less than 3. (not in any particular order)

* living in melbourne
* my boyfriend
* summer
* redheads because I can relate to them
* miranda, this blog's one and only fan.
* musicals
* slurpees
* dancing
* debating
* postcards
* my mum
* glee (the tv show)
* being australian
* essendon bombers (they're a football team. AFL. google it)
* google
* doctor who
* disney movies

jumping on the wagon.

everyone has a blog these days. so I'm hopping aboard ship. wow, I just changed metaphors. fail.

anyway, noone shall ever probably read this, but it will be a good reference for myself for the hectic year ahead.

so.

things that are currently whiring around in my brain.

* schoolies complicated planning.
* the drastic amount of horrid homework I should probably be doing
* jules. he's usually there somewhere.
* I need a photo for my 90 days. for today. and I only have an hour left...
* I swear this blog will become more interesting. hopefully.

anyway. I am going to go edit the layout and such. night for now.